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Self-love and self-care are building blocks to relationships

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Exercise, reading, journaling, friendships are ways students are encouraged to take care of themselves.

Exercise, reading, journaling, friendships are ways students are encouraged to take care of themselves.

Photo By -Olivia Lauter and Sydney Stout

Photo By -Olivia Lauter and Sydney Stout

Exercise, reading, journaling, friendships are ways students are encouraged to take care of themselves.

LeopardLife Dinah Thadikonda, Section Editor

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-by Olivia Lauter and Sydney Stout

 


From learning to trust and love others from infancy, pre-k and later elementary and secondary school, how individuals treat themselves and others are building blocks that last a lifetime.  Self-love and self-confidence are primary to all relationship success counselor Kay Bordelon said.

While creating new relationships, having-self love should come first regardless of the type of relationship. Because of low levels of self-love or self-confidence, many relationships either romantic or friendly can go wrong.

“I think that students are taught self-love at a young age because it’s such an integral part of who we are, and what we need to be okay in the world. If we don’t love ourselves, we can’t possibly love someone else. If we can’t take care of ourselves, then we can’t possibly take care of someone else. For some reason, we humans think that it’s selfish to take care of yourself first. If we understand what self-love is, and we understand what’s important and needful for us, then we can make good relationships,” Bordelon said.

As people slowly mature and change during these years, many teens might find themselves not meeting an idealistic standard. According to Bordelon, this can make it more challenging for students to figure out what they want out of relationships.

“I think that when it comes to students building and handling relationships, it has to start, again, with that self-love piece. We have to think about what it is that you want. Do you want someone that puts you down? Do you want people that listen to your opinions? Do you want people that build you up and compliment you? We have to be able to ask for what we need in a relationship, and if that person can’t give it to us, then move on to the next person,” Bordelon said.

Recently, the girls on the U.S. Olympic Gymnastics reported that gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar conducted inappropriate actions with team members. While the gymnasts did not speak out about this when it occurred, many of them spoke out once they had matured, realized what had happened and others voiced the wrongful situation.

-Talia Sanford
Blocks to healthy relationships begin with self love

 

However, many students might not have that moment of realization of being in an unhealthy relationship without self-love. Some signs of a controlling relationship are if the said person is isolating a person from their other friends and family, dictating who they spend time with, making decisions for them, and not giving people their personal privacy.

   “A relationship becomes controlling whenever the person goes ‘Oh, don’t sit with them’ or getting mad whenever we talk to another person. It’s when someone starts trying to control us. Anytime someone is trying to put their values on you, that’s an early sign of an unhealthy relationship going on there. I also say listen to your gut. Be mindful of how that person is controlling you. I think that self-love means being able to stand up for what you want. Knowing what it is you want and having the courage to ask for it is self-love,” Bordelon said.

According to https://www.psychologytoday.com, there are many ways to show self-love or build a strong, healthy self-relationship. Some tips are to adopt an attitude of curiosity and acceptance, prioritize basic self-care, and cultivate a realistically optimistic behavior.

One cause of lower levels of self-esteem or self-love is social media. Social media can cause depression, anxiety, and loneliness according to https://www.huffingtonpost.com/. This may cause relationships to fall apart due to lower self-value. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and more, may cause one to feel as if their life is not good enough compared to another’s.

“Everyone should be comfortable with themselves. You always have to remember that you are strong and that you can stand up for yourself. You will always have the power over your own life. It may be hard right now, but it will always get better. Everyone has something that makes them irreplaceable,” eighth-grader, Geneva Miller, said.

However, there is a difference between self-esteem and self-love. Self-love, according to Bordelon, is learning to respect oneself at all times.

 

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Self-love and self-care are building blocks to relationships